Bring Me to Life
by Ellivia22
Summary: Prequel to "I'll Be" We know that Beast Boy was almost driven to the edge. After taking the antidote, how did the team react to him? BBxRae I hope you like it! COMPLETE! Read and Review please!
1. Chapter 1

******Bring Me to Life**

******By: Ellivia22**

******Chapter 1**

******Raven**

It's been a couple of hours since I've awoken to find myself in the medical ward. Starfire and I still haven't heard from the boys yet. I hope they are all right. I remember my attack with detail.

___I watched as Beast Boy stormed past me, glaring furiously. I felt extremely angry for the way he acted towards us. However, a part of me couldn't help but feel concerned. He had never talked back to me before._

___I turned and went back to my room. Beast Boy's strange behavior has caused my emotions to go haywire. I needed to ____meditate____ badly. I shut the door and floated in the air, my legs crossed. I closed my eyes. "Azarath Metrion Zinthos," I chanted over and over again._

___Before I could enter Nevermore, I heard a loud roar, making me jump out of my skin. A roar that sounded angry and confused. The only one who could do that was Beast Boy. Concerned, I lowered myself to the ground and exited my room._

"___Who's there?" I decided to check on Beast Boy. I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep tonight until I knew he was okay. "Beast Boy?" I asked once I was outside his door._

___Suddenly his door was forced open. A huge green beast emerged from Beast Boy's room. I was afraid at first, but looking into the Beast's eyes, it wasn't ferocious. It looked at me with concern._

___Without warning, the green Beast started to growl, its eyes staring wildly past me. I screamed in pain as I felt something sharp dig into my shoulder from behind. Before I passed out, I felt myself falling into the arms of the green beast._

**Knock Knock!**

A gentle knock on my door brings me out of my memory. "Friend Raven, Robin requests your assistance in the medical ward."

My heart leaps. The boys are back. But wait. Why the medical ward? Oh God, I hope everything's okay.

A few minutes later, I enter the medical ward. Cyborg is over by the sink, mixing chemicals. Robin is standing at the door, waiting for me. He looks pissed. A green figure is lying in the hospital bed, not moving. Beast Boy

"You wanted to see me, Robin?" I say in my usual monotone.

He looks at me importantly. "Yes. I need you to heal Beast Boy. Then Cyborg will give him the antidote to fight the chemicals in his system, and I will take him to jail so he can serve his time."

I stare at him incredulously. Surely, ___surely_ Robin's not planning to have Beast Boy arrested. "Serve his time," I repeat slowly. "For what?"

"For injuring you and attacking the rest of the team. Not to mention destroying the city. He needs to pay his debt to society."

What the hell? I was certain that Starfire told Robin what happened. I glare at Robin. "You are _not_ sending him to jail if I have anything to say about it. He saved my life!"

Robin glares back. "Fine. We'll talk about it later. Just heal him and be careful. He might try to attack you."

I ignore Robin's last words and head over to Beast Boy's bed. I gasp as I see my green teammate. Beast Boy is lying there, unconscious. His body is covered in deep scratches, cuts, and torn skin. By the looks of it, he's lucky to be alive at all. "Beast Boy," I whisper in concern, my hand resting on his chest. I am comforted when I feel his chest rise up and down

I close my eyes and begin to chant, ready to thank him for saving my life.

******Beast Boy**

I feel myself come into consciousness. My body hurts all over from the battle between Adonis and I. I feel too weak to open my eyes so instead I focus on the last thing I remember.

___I was sitting in the lab with my teammates. Robin was leaning against the wall, looking grim. Cyborg was at the computer. Starfire was by the bed where Raven was floating up and down._

"___She's alive, but she's in some kind of trance," Cyborg said._

"___She's healing herself." Robin told him._

___I couldn't believe what was happening. "And you're telling me I did that to her?" I stared at the grim and angry faces around me. "That's impossible!"_

"___We found you with her," Robin said._

___I shook my head. "No! I wouldn't! I mean we had a fight, but I would never…"_

"___She was in your teeth," Starfire said quietly._

___This was unbelievable. "That's a lie!" I said furiously._

___Robin came closer, his face hard and angry. "I'm going to ask you to keep your voice down."_

___I wanted to leap out of my chair and tear him to shreds. My hands gripped hard on my chair. I noticed my hand started shaking. "What's happening to me?"_

___Cyborg started telling Robin about how my DNA was collapsing. I didn't care. All I cared about was Raven. "Raven…she's going to be all right, isn't she? I mean…she's not moving." I buried my face in my hands. "What have I done?"_

"___You need to tell me what happened." Robin said._

___I stared at him, frustrated. "I told you. I don't remember-any of it. We had that argument, I ____went to my room, I was angry, and then nothing. Claws…a scream. Nothing!"_

___Robin moved closer, making me feel nervous. "Claws and a scream isn't nothing. What else?"_

"___That's all," I said, trying to stay calm._

"___No it isn't. You have to focus."_

"___I am."_

"___You have to remember!"_

"___I'm trying!" I was starting to get really angry. I couldn't understand why he didn't believe me._

"___Try harder! If you can't tell me, I have to assume the worst. I have to put you in jail!" Sweat started rolling down my face, my anger almost to the breaking point. "You HAVE to remember!"_

"___I CAN'T!"_

___Suddenly I felt as though my body was being ripped apart from the inside. The sensation was so excruciating that I couldn't hold back the screams. "Get away from me!" I grunted._

___Then everything went black._

I lie back in my bed as the memories flash in my mind. I can't believe the Beast within me escaped again. Or at least that's what Cyborg said when he ran tests on me. Did I really do what they said I did? Did I really attack my friends? Did I really hurt Raven?

Suddenly I start to feel much better. It doesn't hurt to open my eyes, so I do so. A blurry figure with violet hair is standing over me. Raven. A small smile spreads across her face, surprising me. I would gloat to her about smiling, but I feel too weak. Plus I'm so happy she's okay.

"Raven, you're okay," I whisper in relief.

She nods mutely and continues to heal me. I feel my strength return to me. With Raven's help, I sit up. I notice Starfire standing on Raven's left. "Beast Boy you are awake!" I can tell she wants to hug me, but is trying to restrain herself. I'm grateful, because I don't think my body can handle such tight hugs at the moment.

Cyborg is on the other side of Raven. He hands me a small vial with purple liquid. "Here you go, BB," he says. "This will flush the chemicals out of your system."

I down the liquid in one gulp. It tastes like turnips. I feel a burning sensation hit every part of my body. I guess this is the antidote working against the chemicals in my system. I refuse to look at anyone. "Will this help?" I ask quietly.

"While you were unconscious, I ran some tests," Cyborg says. "It looks like the chemicals infused with your DNA and released something…primal."

"And this will help?" I ask again, getting desperate.

"Not entirely, but you will be able to control it," Cyborg responds. I sigh in relief.

"How long will it take for the chemicals to flush out of his system?" Robin asks.

"About 24 hours," Cyborg answers scientifically.

"And until you have that thing under control, Beast Boy, you are not allowed to go on missions with us. We can't risk anyone getting hurt." Robin says.

I look up and glare at Robin. How dare he say that to me? Doesn't he know me at all? Doesn't he know I wouldn't hurt anyone? "That's not fair Robin! I didn't hurt anyone!"

Robin glares just as angrily back. "You came pretty damn close. Be careful of what you say or you'll be off this team quick!"

I try to get up from my bed, but Raven places her hand firmly on my shoulder. A shiver runs down my spine just by her touch. I glare at Robin, my teeth bared. I suddenly have the urge to lunge at him and rip him from limb to limb. "Robin, leave him alone!" Raven says sharply. I am so surprised that she's defending me, that my anger fades slightly.

"Everybody in the hall," Robin says. "Except you," he directs towards me, venom dripping from his words.

I lay back in my bed, still seething. How could Robin treat me like this? As if I'm some kind of monster, trained to kill. With my sensitive ears, I hear parts of the conversation outside.

"He's dangerous."

"He's _not_ dangerous."

"he has an attitude problem."

"It's because of the damn chemicals."

"He almost killed you."

"He protected me."

"I want you all to stay away from him."

I recognize the voices of Robin and Raven arguing back and forth. I'm kind of surprised that Starfire and Cyborg haven't had their say. Maybe Robin and Raven told them to stay out of it. Just the fact that Robin thinks so low of me infuriates me even more.

The door of the medical ward opens and Raven sticks her head into the room. "You are to stay in here tonight, then can go in the morning." She says. "And don't even think about leaving early, because if you do," she taps her head. "I will know."

I sigh irritably about having to stay in here, but say nothing. Then Raven does something she's never done before. "Goodnight Beast Boy."

I've been waiting months, ___years_ for Raven to say goodnight to me first. I smile at her. "Goodnight, Raven."

I close my eyes and fall asleep, thinking about the dark beauty who might finally be opening up to me.


	2. Chapter 2

******Bring Me to Life**

******By: Ellivia22**

******Chapter 2**

******Beast Boy**

I wake up the next morning with a huge headache and every body part aching. I have a bad taste in my mouth. I slowly get off the hospital bed feeling slightly dizzy. I feel sick and irritable. I need some food.

I leave the medical ward, walk down the hall, and enter the kitchen. Cyborg is hogging the stove like usual. Around this time of day, Cyborg and I would begin our daily playful argument about meat vs. tofu. Right now seeing my best friend frying those poor animals infuriates me more than anything. "Dude! Not meat again!"

Cyborg turns around and grins at me. "That's right little buddy. Nice juicy meat. You ought to try it sometime. It's gooooood!"

His response infuriates me even more. How could he be so insensitive? I'm shaking in anger, my teeth gritted. "You sick bastard. How could you do that to a poor innocent animal? You disgust me!"

I storm past him, ignoring the hurt look on his face. He deserves it. I grab myself a glass of soy milk. Then I sit at the table with my teammates. My bones still ache, and since Robin won't let me train with the rest, I'll work out my stress in the gym.

"Friend Beast Boy!" Star says cheerfully. "I am ready for the joke of the day!"

I groan. I'm totally not in the mood. My head is pounding. "You know, Star, why don't you tell me a joke for once? Why do I always have to do it?"

I drain my milk and stand up. I don't care if I hurt them. I'm too pissed off. "And since Robin doesn't seem to think I'm good enough to train with everyone else, I'll be in the gym."

I leave the kitchen and head towards the gym. The frustration and anger continues to build up inside me. I need to release it soon.

******BBRae**

Later that evening I'm in the living room playing Mega Monkey 2 and losing miserably. Throughout the day, I've been feeling extremely guilty for what I did and said to everyone. I wish I could take it all back.

I've tried to apologize to everyone, but they've been avoiding me. I can understand that. I was such a jerk. I plan to try again tomorrow. Maybe then they'll be in a better mood to forgive me.

Robin's voice rings from the hall. "Beast Boy, could you come into the hall? We need to talk." I can tell it's not a friendly voice. Great. He's going to give me a hard time again.

Robin is waiting for me in the hall, his arms folded. He has a stern look on his masked face. This isn't good. "What Robin?" I ask carefully.

"How are you feeling, Beast Boy?" Robin asks in mock concern. "Feel like attacking anyone lately? Eating flesh?"

I feel insulted. "I'm a vegetarian, Robin," I say calmly. "You know that."

He glares at me. "You could've fooled me by the way you ate my breakfast yesterday."

I look away. "That was different. I wasn't myself."

Events of yesterday flash through my mind like a movie. But instead it's a movie that I feel I haven't seen before. Instead of feeling angry at the actions of my teammates, I feel horrible. I feel horrible for how I acted towards them. I remember eating Robin's breakfast, how I was such a jerk to my friends. No wonder they're so distant from me. "Oh God," I whisper, as Raven's unconscious body comes into my mind. "What have I done?"

Robin moves closer, making me back up. My back hits the wall. I have nowhere to go. Sweat starts rolling down my forehead. "Now do you remember?" Robin says menacingly. I shrink away in fear as he comes closer. "Do you remember the damage you did to our city? Do you remember how you attacked us and almost killed Raven?"

I feel pain flow through me like a fast river. I close my eyes, desperately trying to remember attacking my teammates and the girl I love, but nothing. I just wish I could remember. Then I could apologize to everyone and know what I'm apologizing for. "I don't remember, Robin," I say in a small voice.

Robin grabs me by the front of my uniform and slams me against the wall. I grunt in surprise. "Yes you do," he snarls in my face. "You remember every detail, and so help me God, I will make you pay!"

"ROBIN!" a voice shouts from down the hall. I turn my head to see the others standing there staring at us. Cyborg and Starfire look alarmed. Raven is glaring at Robin. "Leave him alone!" she says dangerously.

Robin releases me and steps back. As Robin's attention is now on Raven, I quietly slip away from Robin and leave the hall. I need to be alone. I need to think.

******Raven**

Once Beast Boy is out of sight, I glare at Robin. "What the hell is your problem?"

He looks at me just as angrily. "I had to interrogate him like any other criminal."

My eyes grow white in anger. "He's _not_ a criminal. He's a hero. He saved my life."

Robin stares at me stubbornly. "My intimidation tactics proved right. The anger is still present in him. The Beast will come out soon. The antidote didn't work."

"Honestly Robin, I would've reacted the same if you accused me of such things."

Robin looks at each of us. "I want you all to stay away from him. He's dangerous."

Starfire nods sadly, tears in her eyes. Cyborg hesitates. "I think you're taking it a little too far, man. The antidote hasn't taken full affect yet."

Robin glances at him. "Trust me. Beast Boy looked like he was about to attack you during your argument in the kitchen this morning. Just be careful."

I can't stand this conversation anymore. I leave the hallway. "Stay away from him, Raven," Robin calls after me, but I ignore him. How could he treat Beast Boy like that? He saved my life. Why won't anybody believe me?

I could tell by the look on Beast Boy's face that Robin hurt him a lot. Though it sounds totally unlike me, I decide to cheer him up. I glance at my communicator and see he's at his and Terra's old spot. I find him by the water, hunched over. By his body language, Robin's words are still bothering him. I am determined to make him feel better.

Beast Boy must've sensed me behind him. "So, he was the one who hurt you, right? Not me?"

I place a hand on my shoulder where Adonis scratched me. "He broke into the tower to attack you, and wound up attacking me too."

"Ugg," Beast Boy says in disgust. "I can't believe I ate meat. I acted like a jerk. I'm sorry."

My heart twists hearing the deep regret in his voice. "You weren't yourself."

"Cyborg says the chemicals messed with my DNA, unleashing something…primal."

"And he gave you an antidote. You're better now."

"Yeah. But that thing, that Beast, it came from inside me, and it's still there. I can feel it."

"Good," I say sitting next to him. I draw my cloak around me as cold wind hits me. I look straight ahead, but I can feel his eyes on me. "If it wasn't for that Beast, I might not be here right now." I glance at him, trying to keep the blush from creeping on my face. By the look on his face, Beast Boy is hanging on my every word. "Having that thing inside doesn't make you an animal. Knowing when to let it out is what makes you a man."

"Hmmm," he ponders thoughtfully. "Maybe you should call me 'Beast Man' from now on."

I'm glad to see his toothy grin again, but I don't show it. And yet it's a romantic setting. "We're having a moment here, don't ruin it."

He sits down next to me and thrusts an arm around my shoulders. His touch sends chills down my spine instantly. "Beast dude?"

I groan and gently pull his arm off me. My emotions are starting to go haywire just by him touching me. We watch the moon together. Though he had to tell a corny joke, it has been the most romantic moment of my life.


	3. Chapter 3

******Bring Me to Life**

******By: Ellivia22**

******Chapter 3**

******Beast Boy**

I walk into the living room, feeling happy and content. The magical moment between Raven and I last night keeps replaying in my head. Even though I had to ruin it with my joke, I know we shared something last night. The important thing is that she and I are friends again and everything is back to normal.

Earlier this morning I told the others that I was back to normal. I also apologized for the way I had been acting these past couple of days. They ignored me. I figure they just needed time to digest that I'm totally me again, so I went back to my room to think about Raven.

So now that it's been a couple of hours later, I figure now everything's back to normal. Robin and Cyborg are playing a racing game on the game station. Raven is reading, like always. And Starfire is in the kitchen, cooking.

A smile spreads across my face as I watch my friends battle each other on the game station. I'll play winner and beat his butt! I walk over to my friends. "Hey guys, can I join you?"

Cyborg looks away and Robin glares at me. Cyborg's reaction surprises me, but Robin's doesn't. "Sorry, but we're in a tournament," Robin says in an unfriendly voice.

"Oh," I say, feeling slightly dejected. So they're still mad at me. I'm about to apologize again for my behavior when Robin tells me to move out of the way. Sighing, I leave the living room.

I turn my attention to the kitchen. Starfire is working away like usual. She's bound to be in a better mood. She doesn't stay upset for long. I know whatever she's cooking won't be edible, but I want to help her anyway. Besides I can tell her the joke I read yesterday. I must apologize first I join her in the kitchen.

"Hey Star,"

"Yes?" she asks. I notice her voice isn't the normal pitch.

I just wanted to say I'm sorry about everything."

She doesn't answer back. Instead she just smiles. I take it as a good sign. A huge grin spreads across my face. "Do you want any help?"

Star winces and as she replies, she doesn't look at me. Her response is full of fake cheerfulness, which is confusing. I thought she just forgave me.. "Sorry Friend Beast Boy, but this is a one person project."

She turns back to her pudding. I stare at her in disbelief. What in the hell is going on here? Usually Star loves help from her friends, even if we don't agree on what she's cooking. And the way she spoke to me. So fake. I've never heard her talk like that before. Something's not right. "Oh, okay," I say, feeling slightly depressed.

"Booyah! I beat you again!" Cyborg cries triumphantly.

Robin groans and tosses his controller. Then he turns to Starfire. "Hey Star, you want any help?" he asks flirtatiously.

"Sure friend Robin. That would be delightful."

I stare at them feeling worse. Star said she didn't want help, yet she's letting Robin. I mean, I know they like each other, but hurts that she's willing to lie to me. I brighten up slightly. That means a controller is free for the game station. I turn to Cyborg. "Hey Cy-."

"I've got to wax the T-car," he says quickly.

"Can I help?"

"No! You'll just mess it up again." Cyborg leaves the room.

My heart is pounding loud in my ears. I feel sick. Why are they still acting like this? I told them I was all better. I told them I was sorry. Do they still think I'm dangerous. ___Am I still dangerous?_ I ask myself in worry. My eyes move to Raven, who is still on the couch, reading. I walk over to her, my legs feeling like jello. I want to know if everyone hates me. I don't want to be alone. "Hey, Raven?" I ask her quietly, hoping I don't make her angry.

"What?" she asks in slight irritation.

I take a step back. I love her, but I don't want to make her angry. I've seen Rage before. I have no desire to see her again. Before I lose my courage, I blurt out. "Can I sit next to you?"

She nods. "Just don't bother me."

I sit down next to her, not because she allowed me to, but because I don't think I have the strength to stand. I feel nauseous. Is that what I really am to her? A bother? I thought we shared something last night, but apparently not. She must still hate me like usual. I close my eyes tight. It's the only way I'll be able to keep the hurt from showing. I'm about to open my mouth to apologize when Robin's voice speaks first.

"Raven, a word?"

I open my eyes to see Robin and Starfire by the hallway, motioning for Raven to follow. Raven groans in annoyance, gets up from the couch, and follows them into the hall. I don't like the looks on their faces, nor the way they've been acting. I have a bad feeling that they're talking about me. I so badly want to find out what's going on, but I'm too upset. I get up. I decide to go back into my room and take a nap. Maybe I'll feel better after getting some rest.

I enter the hall a few minutes after Raven. Robin glares at me. "Not you!"

I avoid his hard gaze. "I'm going to my room." I barely manage to utter.

Once I'm safely back in my room, I collapse on my bed, a single tear falling down my face. How could everything turn so horribly wrong?

******Raven**

I'm sitting in the living room, reading the new book I just purchased. I haven't read a single chapter though. I'm having a hard time concentrating. I keep thinking about the moment Beast Boy and I had last night.

"Raven?"

Speaking of Beast Boy. I look up from my book to see the green Titan standing before me. I notice that his skin is paler than usual. I wonder if he's still recovering from his battle with Adonis. Covering my emotions, I pretend to sound irritated. "What?"

Beast Boy takes a small step back. I must've sounded too harsh. "C-Can I sit next to you?" he blurts out.

I was totally not expecting that. Since when did he ask for an invitation to sit down? It's not like him at all. I feel my emotions waver. Doing my best to act normal, I answer. "Just don't bother me."

He sits down next to me, and I go back to reading. However, I find that I'm unable to read a single sentence. My breath has quickened, my pulse racing. My arms are covered in goosebumps, but I'm not cold. I'll never admit this to anyone, especially not Beast Boy, but I love having him so close to me.

I glance sideways at Beast Boy. I'm taken aback to see that he looks very upset. The last time I saw him this upset was when that bitch, Terra betrayed him. I wonder what's wrong.

"Raven, a word?"

I glance up from my book once again, this time really annoyed. Why do I always have to be interrupted? Not that I mind if Beast Boy interrupts, but anyone else, it's just annoying. Robin and Starfire are standing by the hallway, motioning me to follow. I groan and get up from the couch and follow them down the hall. They lead me into Terra's old room. Robin closes the door behind me.

I fold my arms across my chest. "What Robin?"

"I want you to stay away from Beast Boy," Robin says in a commanding voice.

"Why?" I ask in puzzlement.

"Because Cyborg said there is a 5% chance the antidote didn't work. I'm not sure it worked. He might try to hurt you again if the Beast comes out."

I place my hands on my hips. "He seems pretty normal to me. And if the Beast does come back, he'll protect me."

"You don't know what it was going to do. You were unconscious." Robin argues. "He kept coming after you. I want you to stay away from him. I don't trust him."

"We are only trying to protect you, Friend Raven," Starfire says, speaking for the first time.

I glare at Robin. "You may be the leader of this team, Robin, but you can't tell me who I can or can't hang out with."

I storm out of the bedroom after the meeting, feeling infuriated. Who does Robin think he is telling me not to hang out with Beast Boy? He's not the boss of me. I enter the living room to continue my book. Beast Boy is no longer there.

___Can I sit next to you?_

He sounded like he was trying so hard to hold back tears. What's wrong with him? Is he still feeling pain from fighting Adonis? Something doesn't feel right. I go back into the hallway. I need to check on him. I stop in front of Beast Boy's door. I knock softly. "Beast Boy, are you okay?"

I could've sworn I just heard a sob from behind the door. "I'm fine, Raven," he says in a choked voice.

"Dinner!" Cyborg calls cheerfully from the kitchen.

I didn't even know Cyborg was in the kitchen. I smile to myself. I'll be able to talk to Beast Boy during dinner. "Well, it's dinnertime."

"Go without me," is his sullen reply.

"But you've got to eat," I protest.

"Not hungry."

Searching through his emotions I feel strong waves of depression and hunger. "Come on, Beast Boy. You've got to eat."

"I'm _not _hungry!" he says with finality.

I sigh. He obviously doesn't want to talk to me right now. I leave the hall and join the others for dinner.

During dinner, which is pork chops, I ignore Starfire's attempts to get me to talk. I can't stop thinking about Beast Boy and his strange behavior. What could be upsetting him? "Raven, what's on your mind?" Robin asks, breaking into my thoughts.

"I just think it's strange how Beast Boy didn't join us for dinner. I'm just hoping he's okay."

The others grunt in response. I go back into my own little world. Maybe Beast Boy will be ready to talk to me once he's feeling a little better.


	4. Chapter 4

******Bring Me To Life**

******By: Ellivia22**

******Chapter 4**

******Beast Boy**

The warm sunshine falls over me, waking me from my slumber. It wasn't a peaceful sleep. I spent half of the night tossing and turning. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't clear my mind. The pain was strong.

I sit up slowly, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. I feel weird. My muscles feel strained and tight. My chest feels like I'm carrying an anchor. Apparently Star's words are still affecting me greatly.

I glance at my watch. 12 noon. Holy crap I missed combat practice! At first I wonder why the others didn't wake me. But then I figure they're still mad. This doesn't improve my mood at all.

My stomach rumbles, reminding me that I didn't have dinner last night. I was too upset to see anyone. I figure now everyone would be doing their own thing. I'll be able to grab lunch and avoid everyone. Another idea strikes me. I'll play video games with Cyborg and lose on purpose. That'll make him happy and make things normal between us again.

I get out of bed and pull on my clothes. I want to smile, act like nothing's wrong, but I can't. The muscles in my mouth won't work.

I stop dead when I enter the living room. Sitting at the kitchen table are Robin and Starfire eating lunch. Starfire stares at me fearfully. Robin glares at me, making me feel like he wants to squash me like a bug.

Doing my best to ignore them I hold my head high. I enter the kitchen. I feel their eyes on me as I pull out a slab of tofu and barbecue sauce from the fridge. I am able to hear them whispering.

My chest tightens. I feel sick. I think instead of playing video games with Cyborg, I need to talk to him. I need to let all my emotions out. He's my best friend. He'll listen to me…..won't he?

I turn and head back to my room. I close the door behind me. I lie back in my bed and eat my lunch. It feels good to eat something. I didn't know I was this hungry. While I'm eating, I try to organize my thoughts in order to talk to Cyborg.

Instead I think of Raven. Her violet hair, her beautiful indigo eyes. I love everything about her. I love her more than anything in the world. I know she hates me though. I'll just have to love her from afar.

I polish off my lunch and start looking for Cyborg. God I hope he's forgiven me. I can't stand having my friends mad at me. The first place I check is the garage. I enter the Titan's garage. The strong smell of motor oil enter my nostrils. Cyborg is, as I expected, leaning over the engine of the T-car. I start to get a bad feeling, but I push it aside.

"Hey Cy," I say as normally as possible.

He looks up, his eye meeting mine. "Beast Boy," he says in an abnormal voice. He lowers his head back to his work.

I swallow my fear. "Can I talk to you?"

"Sorry. Too busy."

"It'll only be a moment,"

"NO!"

Cyborg's voice is cold and sharp, like a knife in my chest. I back away slowly. My heart is thudding in my ears. So it's true. I've lost my best friend too. Suddenly my back hits a shelf, which starts to break. I turn around quickly and try to keep the shelf from coming down.

"Yo!" Cyborg yells. "What are you doing?"

His outburst startles me. I drop the shelf. Wax, oil, grease, and paint starts flying everywhere. Orange paint splatters over me, Cyborg, and the T-car . I stare at Cyborg in horror. He's going to kill me. Cyborg advances on me and grabs my now painted shirt. "LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO MY CAR!"

"I'm s-sorry C-Cy," I stammer. I close my eyes, not wanting to see the fury on his metal face.

"YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT!" My stomach tightens painfully as his words of fury hit my insides in every direction. "GO BUG SOMEONE ELSE!"

He lets go of my shirt and I run as fast as I can out of the garage. I don't stop running until I reach the bathroom. I think I'm going to be sick. I run to the toilet and drop to my knees. My lunch comes out.

Once I'm done throwing up, I lean against the wall. Not until then do I let my emotions run free. Tears are dampening my face. They're coming so fast I can't see. I can't believe this is happening to me. It seems like no matter what I do, I make things worse. Maybe Cyborg is right. I can't do anything right. His sharp words cut me deep. I'm bleeding on the inside.

___Can't do anything right_

A sudden determination sparks in me. No! They're wrong! I am a good teammate! I can do things! I wipe the tears off my face and stand up unsteadily. I'll show them. I'll show them all. I'll succeed in the next mission. Then they'll realize I can be helpful.

I strip and get in the shower. I turn on the water as hot as it will go. The scorching water is a good distraction to what I'm feeling. While I'm washing the sticky paint off, I come up with a plan.

I don't have the strength to face my teammates again, so I'll just stay in my room until the next mission. I'll eat at night so I won't have to worry about running into them. Then when the time comes, I'll prove my worth.

It'll work. It has to.

******Raven**

A few days have passed since Robin and Starfire talked to me. The atmosphere around the tower has changed drastically. We don't hang out anymore. Each of us is doing our own thing. Robin has been scheduling training sessions like crazy and strategizing. For some reason he hasn't included Beast Boy in any of the plans. Cyborg has stopped playing the game station and spends most of his time on his car. Starfire cooks almost every moment every day. I seem like the normal one.

Beast Boy? I haven't seen him since he sat next to me in the living room the other day. He doesn't show up for training sessions or meals anymore. It's so weird not hearing his laughter, his jokes. I only know he's still here, because when I meditate I feel his presence. I feel his distress. He's still really upset about something. I want to go into his mind and find out what, but I don't want to invade his privacy.

I'm sitting in the dark kitchen, sipping some herbal tea. The clock on the wall reads 2 am. I can't sleep. Beast Boy is on my mind. This is no surprise to me, though. Ever since I realized I was in love with him, he's been on my mind constantly.

I feel pain increase inside me. Not mine-but his. I wish there was some way I could help him.

___There he is_ sighs Love dreamily in my head.

I glance up from my tea to see a shadowed figure opening the fridge and take something out. Though it is dark, I can tell it's Beast Boy. Damn he's sexy! "Hey Beast Boy," I say quietly. "Couldn't sleep either?"

He whirls around quickly. He stares at me in shock. It's obvious that he thought he was alone. I narrow my eyes in suspicion. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing," he says quickly. His voice is crackly and hoarse.

I roll my eyes and get out of my chair. Beast Boy tries to hide the items in his hands behind his back, but not quick enough. In one hand, a slab of tofu, the other barbecue sauce.

I raise my eyebrow. "So that's when you eat. At night. When everyone is asleep. You must really hate us."

"I don't hate you," he says quickly.

I fold my arms. "They why aren't you coming for training sessions? Or for meals? Are you planning on living in your room for the rest of your life?"

He glares back at me, his green eyes hard. "Like you can talk! I never thought I'd see the day that you'd come out. What's the occasion?"

His comment stung. He acts like I spend my whole life in my room. It's not totally true. I only spend most of my time in my room. Besides I've come out more than him lately. I pull up my hood to hide the effect of his words. "We're not talking about me. We're talking about you."

He sighs irritably. "Whatever."

He turns his back on me and leaves the kitchen. "Hey! I'm not done with you yet!" I say angrily, but he ignores me.

I sit back down and sip my tea. His attitude is so strange. He's never walked out of an argument with me before. Maybe he's too upset. I shouldn't have been so pushy for answers.

I decide to talk to him tomorrow. I'll apologize for being a bitch and ask him if he needs to talk about anything. If he doesn't answer, then I'll try again the next day. And the next. Just like he used to. I won't stop until he decides to come out at last.


	5. Chapter 5

******Bring Me to Life**

******By Ellivia22**

******Chapter 5**

******Beast Boy**

The scorching water rolls down my back. The emotional pain that's buried deep inside my soul ebbs away slowly. I am surrounded by darkness, which is the way I want it. The darkness matches my mood.

Three nights have passed since I ran into Raven in the kitchen. Ever since then, I've been checking each room I go into in the form of a small animal. After my run in with Raven and her accusing stares, I don't want to see anyone! At least not until the next mission, anyway. I've got to stay strong and the only way I can do that is by avoiding everyone at all costs.

I turn off the water and dry myself off. The door is locked so nobody would accidentally barge in on me. Just as I'm getting dressed, the alarm goes off. I glance at my glow-in-the dark watch. 4:59 AM. I groan. Whoever it is needs to get a life and stop causing trouble so early in the morning.

I unlock the door and enter the hall. Excitement floods my veins. This is it. This is the chance to prove myself. ___Don't screw up, BB_.

I join the others in the living room. Almost immediately, Cyborg and Starfire edge as far away from me as possible. I try to ignore the pain that hits me just by this action. I can feel Raven's eyes on me from under her hood, but I choose not to look at her.

"Okay Titans, Slade is downtown causing trouble like usual. Here's the plan that will help us catch him once and for all." Robin says. "Starfire and Raven will get rid of Slade's henchmen as quickly as possible. Cyborg and I will be battling Slade so we can weaken him and he'll be easier to take down. When I give the signal, Cyborg will hit Slade with his sonic cannon and Beast Boy," I wince as I hear the coldness in his voice. "After Cyborg hits Slade with his cannon, you must tackle him to the ground with any animal you feel will hold him down. Raven will then bind Slade with whatever is near by. By any luck we'll have Slade in jail by breakfast."

"Titans Go!"

I follow the rest of the team out of the tower and then turn into a large bird to fly downtown. This is it. Now I can show the others that they can trust me again. I can show them that the Beast is no longer controlling me. My heart is pounding. I am ready.

Once we get there, the team springs into action. Robin and Cyborg are fighting Slade, who was attempting to steal a big screen TV. Starfire and Raven are battling the henchmen. I'm also fighting the henchmen, but at the same time, I'm waiting for Robin's signal. So much is going on it's hard to keep track of everything. The street is full of black and green light.

I'm in the form of a grizzly, knocking henchmen away easily with my huge paw. ___This is easy_ I think happily. ___I'll definitely get their trust back_.

I hear a scream behind me. Raven. At the same time, Robin shouts. "Beast Boy, NOW!"

I stop for a split second. Raven sounded like she was hurt, yet Robin needs me. I stand for a second, trying to figure out who needs my help the most. I stay still for a second too long. Suddenly I feel something sharp plunged deep into my side. I howl in pain. I look down and see a blade in my side.

The pain is surprisingly excruciating. Usually I can handle a single stab wound. Maybe the emotional distress I've been feeling has made me physically weak. Barely having the strength, I turn back into myself. I fall to my knees, clutching my side. My head lowers in shame. I failed them.

Raven runs over to me. "What did you do that for? You could've been killed, you jerk!" she snaps. I notice she's having a hard time controlling her powers. I feel worse. I feel a hand run over my side, her hand briefly touching mine. She pulls the blade out of my side, much to my relief. "I have to meditate then I'll heal you," she says breathlessly, trying to keep her emotions under control. I nod mutely and then she is gone.

I sense the others coming towards me. I can tell they are pissed. I refuse to look at them. I'm afraid of what they're going to say.

"What the hell did you do that for, man?" Cyborg shouts furiously. "How could you be so stupid? You ruined the whole mission!"

The pain increases emotionally and physically. I clutch my side tight, ignoring how sticky the blood is making my glove. I don't know what to say. I know the yelling doesn't end here.

"You did not follow the plan. You are less of use," Starfire adds, her comment like a slap to the face. I can't believe Star would say something like that to me.

I forget all about my bleeding side. The more insults the others throw at me, the worse I feel. From the corner of my eye, I see Robin approaching me. He looks madder than I've ever seen him before. I cower even more. When he's angry, he's almost as scary as Raven.

"It's your entire fault, Beast Boy," Robin roars. "If you would've followed orders, we would've caught Slade at last! I gave you this task to prove your worth to the team. Now I see how worthless you really are." He glares down at me. I lower my head further in shame. I have no more strength to stay on my knees. I slide to the ground and lean against a wall. I don't want to know what Robin's going to say next. "I should just kick you off the team. But since you are so pathetic and can't follow simple instructions, I've decided to let you stay. Only because I feel sorry for you. If you disobey me again, you are gone."

I feel as though Robin has sentenced me to death. I close my eyes, trying so hard to hold back the tears, but it's not working. A couple of sobs escape my throat. I don't want to face my teammates again. I'm ashamed because of how I messed up the mission and that I'm showing weakness. All I wanted was for them to trust me again, to be proud of me. They're right. I am worthless.

The team leaves. The tears are flowing so fast that I don't bother to stop them. I've given up being strong. Each insult the Titans threw at me keeps repeating over and over in my head, tormenting me. _Less of use____, stupid, jerk, worthless, pathetic, feel sorry for you_.

The pain is beyond anything I ever felt before. I know now that things will never get better. My friends will never forgive me for all the damage the Beast has caused. Raven will never love me. I'll never have the strength to show my true potential again.

Robin wants me to leave. I know he does. I should just leave like he wants me to. It would be better for everyone. I don't want to be a burden. But where could I go? I have no money, no friends. I don't want to go back to the Doom Patrol. And I know I won't survive being a solo hero, as Starfire's time travel told me. ___I wish I were dead_. As my last thought repeats into my head, I realize it's a solution for everyone.

Suicide. Nobody will miss me. Cyborg will be able to store all the meat he wants. Robin can make plans that are guaranteed not to fail since I won't be there. Starfire can cook without hearing me complain about the concoctions she cooks. And Raven, sweet Raven, can read and meditate in peace. She won't be bothered by my annoying jokes. I will no longer be a burden. Yes, it would be much better for everyone if I am dead.

I think about my messy room. I know that before I die I need to clean and set my affairs in order. Then I can die with a clear conscience. With as much strength I can muster, I turn into a bird and fly back to the tower. I have a lot of cleaning to do.

******Raven**

I leave my room feeling a lot calmer before. My emotions were stretched from worrying about Beast Boy. Before the mission, I hadn't seen him since the incident in the kitchen. I only know he's still alive, because when I meditate I can feel his presence. I am also able to tell that he's getting worse as each day passes by. I keep knocking on his door, begging him to talk to me, but nothing. When I saw him get injured, it was just too much. I didn't mean to yell at him, and I certainly didn't mean to leave him bleeding on the street. At least the others will take care of him.

I glance in the medical ward, ready to heal him. I'm surprised that he's not there. ___He must be in his room_. I knock on his door, hoping that he's okay. "Beast Boy, it's Raven. Can I come in?"

No answer. I hear movements from the other side of the door. I know he's in there. I knock on his door again. "Please Beast Boy," I say, showing more emotion than I want to. I hear a lamp explode. "I need to heal your wound."

A few moments later, the door opens. Beast Boy looks away from me quickly, but I manage to get a glimpse of his face. I feel shock radiate in me, followed by fear. His green face is so pale it's almost white. His eyes are red and face tear stained. His green eyes have lost their spark in them. He looks truly…dead. His body is shaking so hard he's barely able to stand on his feet.

He sits back down and turns away from me. I sit beside him and look at the wound on his side. It's deep, but not life threatening. It missed all vital organs. This eases my conscience a little. The wound is still bleeding at an alarming rate. For the first time I notice the pool of blood where Beast Boy had been sitting before. The wound isn't bandaged. Why didn't he let the others fix him up? Was he just waiting for me? I want to ask, but can't bring myself to. Instead I say something totally random, hoping to lighten the awkward silence between us. "Your room isn't as messy as usual."

He doesn't say anything, but stiffens just by hearing me speak. This action scares me greatly. He's never been so antisocial, so cold. It's not even an angry coldness. I know it's because he's suffering. But what on earth could be bothering him? My hands grow blue as I heal the wound on his side. It stops bleeding instantly, an ugly looking scar taking its place. Unfortunately there's nothing I can do about that. I can't take it anymore. "Beast Boy, I'm sorry for what I said earlier," I say quietly. "I was just scared."

No response. His silence is making me feel worse. Why won't he talk to me? I feel Brave taking over me. "BB are you okay?" It feel strange calling him BB, but oh well.

He continues to keep his back on me. His shaking is worse than ever. I feel his distress level rising rapidly. I can't stand looking at him like this anymore. I so badly want to tell him how much I care, how much I love him, but the words seem to get lost from my heart to my mouth. After an agonizing moment, Beast Boy speaks.

"You have finished healing me, Raven," he says in a shakily. "You can go now."

I stay where I am. Brave and Timid are battling in my head on what to do next. _****__**"We've got to be there for him**_," Brave says boldly. _****__**"We can't give up now**_."

"******But he hates us**___!"_ Timid wails.

___Shut up you two. _I snarl to my emotions. ___Let me think._

Before I can say anything Timid speaks her thoughts through my mouth. "Why won't you look at me?"

Beast Boy goes, if possible, paler. He looks like he's about to pass out. "Just go, Raven." Then his tone becomes a little sharp. "Get out of my room!"

I want to stay, but Timid has taken full control. It's obvious that Beast Boy's last words have hurt her a lot. She makes my body leave the room as fast as possible. I enter my room and go back to Nevermore, knowing that whether I want to or not, I need to meditate again before I explode.


	6. Chapter 6

******Bring Me To Life**

******By: Ellivia22**

******Chapter 6**

******Beast Boy**

I leave my bedroom, forcing a smile on my face. It took me all night and the most of today, but I have finished cleaning and sorting my stuff. Now it's time to say my goodbyes. I've decided to start with Starfire. She has always been so friendly to me. I decide to tell her a joke for the last time.

I enter the kitchen to find Starfire mixing some strange reddish, pinkish goop in a bowl. She's humming softly to herself, and from what I can tell, perfectly normal. I walk over to her, the fake smile plastered on my face.

"Hey Star," I say as normally as possible.

"What is it, my friend?" she says. I try to ignore the fake cheerfulness in her voice, but I can't. It still hurts. I decide to go ahead with it anyway.

"I have a joke for you. If your mother is from Iceland and your father is from Cuba, then what are you?"

"What?"

"An ice cube!" I say, forcing myself to laugh.

SNAP!

A thread in me snaps as I hear her false laughter. I feel my insides twist in agony. Her false laughter rings horribly in my head. "Good one," she says in a fake cheerful voice.

I sigh miserably. I should've known. Starfire is too close to Robin. I should've known she'd be on his side. I just wish I knew why Robin hated me so much. On the other hand, maybe it's not because of Robin. Maybe she's still mad at me for the prank I pulled on her a few years ago. She did say she forgave me, but maybe she really didn't. I still feel really bad about it. I guess I am useless after all. I don't know why I even bothered hoping.

I don't even bother saying goodbye. I turn and head back to my room. I never thought that one simple action could hurt so much. Why am I bothering to wait? It's apparent that nobody cares. I should just kill myself now.

I reach my room and close the door behind me. Then I walk over to the bottom bunk of my bed. I reach under my pillow and pull out a razor blade. Ever since the team turned against me, I've kept it there for dire circumstances. I never needed to use it until now. I slump in my bottom bunk. I consider getting it over with, but change my mind. I might as well just grab a gun and blow my brains out. Then my death will be quick and painless. But until I get the chance to steal the gun from the evidence room, I might as well release the pain.

I slash the razor across my green forearm, cutting deep into the skin. Thick red blood seeps fast from my wound and runs down my arm. I lean back in my bunk and watch my hand become covered in blood. For a brief moment I feel immense relief. I'll be able to make it another day.

**Knock Knock**

"Beast Boy?"

My heart flutters and at the same time I groan. Raven is yet again trying to get me to come out of my room. Ironic, huh? It used to be where I would try to get her to come out. Every time she knocks on my door, I feel irritated and confused. After all, she hates me. Why would she care if I don't come out of my room. I stare at my bloodstained arm. The last thing I need is for Raven to see this. She'd be disgusted of me, because I resulted to this. "Go away," I croak. "Leave me alone!"

"I just want to help you," she says in an almost desperate voice. "Please let me in."

"No!" I say sharply. "Go back to your damn book!"

A few minutes of silence, then Raven answers in a pained voice I've never heard before. "Fine."

I feel guilty. I hurt her a lot. I don't know why she bothers to talk to me. I'm so scared, so lost. I'm not worth the trouble. I just don't know what to do anymore. All I know is I don't want to burden Raven with my pain. I love her way too much.

******Raven**

After leaving Beast Boy's door, I slowly walk back to the living room. I collapse on the couch and close my eyes wearily. A tear starts slowly working its way down my face. The pain is sharp and bright. This time, however, it's my pain. Beast Boy's harsh words echo inside.

___Get out of my room!_

___Go back to your damn book!_

Whatever happened to the sweet, funny Titan I once knew? It seems like ever since he took the antidote, he changed into a person I don't know. Not an angry, bitter person, but broken and miserable. I know the normal Beast Boy would never hurt me like that. Not in a million years.

Keeping my eyes closed, I listened to my emotions. They're having a conversation in my head.

"___Why does he hate me so much?_" Timid sobs.

"******Well let's think,"**Sarcasm says. ******"We put him down, refuse to laugh at his jokes and ignore him all the time."**

I sigh as the truth of Sarcasm's words sink in. "Sarcasm's right," I tell them stonily. "It's because you won't let me feel."

"_****__**You can feel,"**_ Wisdom says. _****__**"You just choose not to."**_

I ignore Wisdom. Love breaks through the painful silence between my emotions. "___But we love him! We love him more than anything in the world!"_

"I know," I say miserably. "I just wish there was a way I could show him that."

I curl up on the couch, shutting off my emotions. I've had enough of listening to them talk about Beast Boy. Just thinking about him makes me feel worse. I fall into an uneasy sleep, hoping with all my heart that the Beast Boy I love will come back soon.

I wake up in the middle of the night to find myself still on the couch. I had a weird dream. I dreamt that Beast Boy was talking to me and caressing my face. ___Dream on Raven_ I think in annoyance. ___You aren't getting enough sleep_. I drag myself off the couch and back to bed.

******Beast Boy**

The alarm clock on my desk rings, making me look up. I was just finishing the goodbye letter to Starfire. I glance at the clock. 2:21 AM. At the same time, my stomach rumbles. I put my pen down. Time to eat.

I open my bedroom door, then turn into a beetle. I cautiously look around. Nobody is in the hall. I scurry down the hall and into the kitchen. Nobody there either. I breathe a sigh of relief and turn back into myself. I grab tofu and barbecue sauce and sit at the kitchen table. While I'm eating, I try desperately to block the dark feelings that are attacking me all over. Starfire's fake laughter rings horribly in my ears. ___Less of use_.

I bury my face in my hands. I'm starting to feel really dizzy-probably from the loss of blood. I need some sleep. I put the barbecue sauce in the fridge. I am almost in the hall when I hear a sigh from the living room.

My heart thuds in my chest. I thought I was alone. I turn into a bug. Curiosity gets the better of me. I wander over to the living room to see who it is. My heart thuds against my chest as I see Raven lying there fast asleep.

I turn back into myself and tiptoe over to her. Her hood is down revealing her lovely face. A lock of violet hair falls across her forehead. She looks so beautiful. I take my gloves off. I just want to feel the touch of her skin one time before I die. I want that to be the last thing I think about before I end it all.

Being careful not to wake her, I reach out and start stroking her cheek lightly. Her skin is so soft, it sends chills up and down my spine. Being so close to her, I smell lavender. It must be the lotion she uses. I watch as she smiles in her sleep. I long to tell her everything: why I'm close to Death's door, why I avoid everyone, and most of all: that I'm so in love with her. I know I'll never be able to tell her though. I know she hates me.

I push the strand of violet hair out of her face. I feel warm and for the first time in days, happy. Her hair feels silky and soft. "Oh Raven," I whisper. "If only you knew how I feel about you."

I feel movement under my bare hand. Quickly I pull back and put on my gloves. I turn into a mouse before she can see me. I hurry out of the living room and back into the safety of my own room. Once I'm in there, I turn back into myself and crawl into bed. I fall asleep and hope to dream about the girl who turns my life upside down.


	7. Chapter 7

******Bring Me to Life**

******By: Ellivia22**

******Chapter 7**

******Beast Boy**

___I was in the middle of Jump City, surrounded by the people who used to be my friends. Slade had escaped yet again. Like before, it was my fault. My battered heart pounded weakly as my ____teammates____ came closer, loathing on their faces._

"___You're such a loser!" Cyborg yelled, hitting me hard in the stomach with his sonic cannon. The blow made me fall to the ground in agony._

"___What a clorbag," Starfire agreed, one of her green starbolts striking me across the face. I felt the burn on my cheek as if she had put a hot poker on it._

___Robin then came up, discs in his hand. "I wish I never let you join our team. You're worthless." I was unable to hold back the screams as Robin's discs cut me all over. Blood starts squirting everywhere from the wounds he had just made on me._

___Finally Raven came into view. Her violet eyes that once showed kindness was full of rage. Tears were rolling down my face, the emotional pain overpowering the physical. "Raven, help me," I begged hoarsely, my eyes barely able to focus on the dark beauty in front of me. "I love you."_

___A look of disgust crossed Raven's pale face. She stared down at my pathetic form. I cowered, not wanting to see her wrath. "I have no love for someone who's made my life a living hell from day one." Then she turned and walked away._

___Even though she didn't strike me with her powers, her comment hurt more than anything else. I stayed curled up, tears falling down my face, pain searing through me as the tears hit my burned cheek. I wished the team had finished me off. I had nothing left. I lost all my friends and the woman I loved hated me. As I sobbed myself to sleep, I prayed for death._

I wake up in a cold sweat. I sit up in my bottom bunk so fast that I hit my head. I don't feel my now forming headache. I'm shaking all over. I cover my wet face with my hands. I must've been crying in my sleep. I hope I didn't disturb anyone. That dream felt so real. My body throbs all over as if I had been struck by the weapons of my teammates. My teammates insults echo in my head, causing more tears to fall. I know that's how they really feel. Especially Raven. I know she hates me and it's nobody's fault but mine. I have been nothing but annoying to her. I thought I was making her happy, but I was very wrong. I was only making her hate me even more.

I glance at my watch. 6AM. Robin should be up by now. Maybe I can convince him to let me train with the rest of the team. I don't know why I even bother. Maybe there is a little bit of hope left in me.

I pull on my clothes, wincing. My skin is rough and raw from the extremely hot showers I take. My arm stings as the cloth brushes against my fresh wound. This doesn't bother me. It's nothing compared to how I feel inside. I feel as though I have been stripped of my soul.

I leave my bedroom and head to the gym. I know Robin gets up at 5AM to work out. Sure enough, there he is doing sit ups. "Robin," I say quietly. I don't want to startle him and I'm afraid to talk to him at the same time.

He finishes his sit up then stands up. He stands tall over me, making me feel intimidated. "What?" he asks coldly, hatred clearly etched on his face.

I so badly want to retreat back to my room, but I've got to be strong. If I want my friends back, I've got to show courage. I avoid his cold gaze. "I was wondering if I could train with the team today."

"No!" Robin snaps. "I can't risk you disrupting a training session. The last thing we need is another failed mission."

SNAP!

Another thread breaks inside me. I feel as though my insides are collapsing. "Please," I beg desperately. "I'll do whatever you say. Just let me train!"

"Sorry," Robin says, not sounding sorry at all. "But I only train worthy people." The alarm rings, signaling trouble in the city. "Stay here," Robin commands, then runs off.

I lose all the strength in my legs. I slide to the floor, my back against the wall. I close my eyes and wait for the team to leave so I can steal the gun. I just have two Titans to say goodbye to, and I can die in peace.

******Raven**

I leave my room and walk towards the living room to meet the others for the mission. I am about to pass the gym when something catches my eye. Beast Boy is leaning against the wall, looking like he's in deep despair. I try to ask him what's wrong, but the words get lost to my mouth. "Beast Boy, you coming?"

He doesn't answer. I walk over to Beast Boy and kneel beside him. He looks away in shame. He's so pale it's frightening. I grasp his freezing hand and my other covers his burning forehead. I feel tremors coursing through him like a strong earthquake. He's getting worse, and I'm still not any closer to finding out what's wrong.

"Beast Boy, what's the matter?" I ask softly.

"Nothing Raven. Just go. They need you and why shouldn't they. You're wonderful."

I'm thankful that I have my hood up. He won't be able to see me blushing. ___He called me wonderful_ Happy coos in my head. I ignore her. The longing is evident in his uneven voice. He sounds like he's lost confidence in himself.

I stand and try to pull him up, but no luck. It seems like he doesn't have much strength. "Come on," I say, trying to boost his spirits a little. "They need you too."

"Friend Raven, it is time to go," Starfire says cheerfully.

I wonder why she didn't call for Beast Boy as well. Maybe she thinks he's not well enough to come. I watch in horror as a tear rolls down Beast Boy's face. I can't stand seeing him like this. I should stay and help him, but his body language tells me he wants to be alone. I don't want to leave him alone, but I know from my experience that sometimes being alone makes you feel better. I take on last look at the one I love, then reluctantly leave the room.

I silently join the others. Robin has already started his pep talk. I am not listening at all. Beast Boy is all I can think about. All I care about anymore is to see that he becomes happy again.

"Raven…RAVEN!" I jump back into reality as Robin's annoying voice breaks through my thoughts.

"What?" I ask crossly.

"I said is that clear?"

"Uh…yeah," I say in my monotone. I have no clue what he's talking about, nor do I care.

"Titans go!"

I head downtown with my teammates. I'm wishing desperately that Beast Boy was flying beside me. It is always a comfort to have him flying beside me. I miss him more than ever. We land in the street. Inside the local jewelry store are the first villains of the day: the H.I.V.E.

Robin says his usual battle cry and we spring into action. Cyborg and Mammoth battle each other using their strength. Robin and Starfire are handling Gizmo with their practiced combos. As for me, I'm taking on Jinx. I can't concentrate. All I can think about is Beast Boy.

"Where's that green loser at?" Jinx asks, throwing several hexes my way.

My eyes grow white in anger. "He is NOT a loser. And it's none of your damn business where he is!" I barely have time to block her hexes with my powers.

"Ooh did I hit a nerve?" Jinx taunts. "I didn't know you were so protective of him. Are you in love with him?"

At the mention of the word "love", my emotions start going berserk. Random items start levitating. "Shut up!" I clench my teeth in anger. I frantically try to keep my emotions under control.

Jinx's eyes glow pink, her face full of glee. "Too bad he'd never like someone as grumpy as you."

The damage has been done. I lose complete control of my powers. Everything starts exploding everywhere. Havoc ensues.

"Let's get out of here!" Gizmo's annoying little voice is heard over the explosions.

He throws an object on the ground. It explodes sending smoke everywhere and knocking all of us backwards. I can't see anything. I'm still trying to get my emotions under control. ___Azarath Metrion Zinthos!_

A moment later the smoke clears. The H.I.V.E. are nowhere to be found. "Where did they go?" Robin demands angrily, slamming the ground with his fist.

"I believe they went up there," Starfire says, pointing to the ceiling.

We all look up. A tiny hole can be seen in the ceiling. I wonder how the H.I.V.E. could've escaped through that, but figure it must've been with one of Gizmo's gadgets. Only one person I know can make it through that hole. He's not here with us. A shock of pain jolts through me as Beast Boy crosses my mind once again.

"You okay, Rae?" Cyborg asks, helping me to my feet. I didn't even notice that I was still lying on the ground.

I nod mutely, brushing dust off my dark cloak. We leave the jewelry store and head back to the T-car. I can't wait to go back to the tower and meditate. I've got a splitting headache from trying to control my emotions. Robin falls in step with me. I wish he would go away. I don't want to talk to anybody right now.

"What happened back there?" Robin asks in concern.

"Nothing," I say curtly, pulling my hood up. "I just lost control."

"Well make sure to meditate before the next mission. We don't want to lose again." Robin runs ahead to catch up with Starfire.

"We wouldn't have lost if Beast Boy was here," I mutter under my breath.

I close my eyes and fly up ahead of everyone. I decide to not ride back in the T-car to the tower. I need time to think. The best place to think and meditate would be my room. Nobody bothers me there. When I'm under control I plan to check on Beast Boy. I want him to be better, but I fear that he never will be.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans. I also don't own this song. It belongs to Evanescence.

******Bring Me to Life**

******By: Ellivia22**

******Chapter 8**

******Raven**

I leave my room, a book in my hands. I just finished meditating. I plan to check on Beast Boy then actually start the first chapter. If he's still not willing to talk to me, I need to find a way to get him out of my mind. I need to keep my emotions stable.

Speaking of Beast Boy, the door of his room opens and he steps out. He looks worse than ever. His body is shaking so hard, I'm surprised he can still walk. His head is down and shoulders sagging. Tears leak from my eyes as I stare at the person who used to be Beast Boy. Again, I'm thankful for my hood.

Without warning he bumps into me, making me drop my book. He bends over to retrieve it for me. As he does so I notice his left sleeve is stained with blood. "What's that?" I ask suspiciously.

"Just a cut I got from Adonis," he says in a monotone voice I've never heard from him before. He turns his back on me.

I feel like he punched me in the gut. How dare he lie to me! Do I look stupid to him? Before he can take another step, I grab his arm, and force him to turn around. I pull up his sleeve. I almost feel sick just by the sight.

Across his arm is a long, deep gash, self inflicted. The cut is almost as deep as the wound in his side. Just by the looks of this, he did this to himself yesterday. I glare at him. "DON'T lie to me, Beast Boy!" I say in a deep, dangerous voice. "I cleaned your wounds last week and that wasn't there. Besides it's fresh. Now tell me! Why did you do this to yourself?"

I see tears swim in his hurt green eyes. ___Great_ I think in irritation. ___I just made him feel worse. Nice job, Raven! _"Please, Beast Boy," I say quietly. "I care about you."

It's obvious that he doesn't believe me. He grits his teeth angrily, a tear sliding down his cheek. I take a step back, uncertain of his reaction. "I don't believe you," he says harshly. "I know what you really think of me: annoying, pathetic, humorless, Beast Boy. Don't pretend to care, Raven. I know you truly don't. Just leave me the hell alone!"

After his speech, he pulls his arm from my grip and leaves the hallway. Several tears are rolling down my face and I don't make an effort to stop them. I float out of the hallway and back into my room. I fling on my bed, my sobs muffled by my pillow. I don't care if I'm causing an uproar in the tower. I don't care about anything anymore. Now I know how he truly feels about me. He hates me. My heart is breaking.

******Beast Boy**

**__****I tried to kill the pain**

___**But only brought more**_

**__****I lay dying**

**__****And I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal**

**__****I'm dying, praying, bleeding, and screaming**

**__****Am I too lost to be saved?**

**__****Am I too lost?**

I leave the hall feeling guilty. I've been trying hard to spend my last days being nice to people. And I just yelled at Raven. Some friend I am! I'm such a jerk! My head is hurting so bad I can barely think. I try to force my bad thoughts down. If I want to say a proper goodbye to my best friend, I've got to seem normal. I plan to ask him to play video games with me for one last time. I find my best friend in the kitchen. "Hey Cy, I was wondering if-."

I stop in mid-sentence. My mouth drops in horror. Cyborg is standing by the sink dumping white stuff down the garbage disposal. My tofu. "Dude what the hell are you doing?" I shriek in horror. The more tofu that goes down the sink, the more devastated I feel. My heart is pounding loud in my ears, the tears are threatening to fall. I knew Cyborg hated me, but I never thought he'd stoop this low.

___**My God, my tourniquet**_

**__****Return to me salvation**

**__****My God, my tourniquet**

**__****Return to me salvation**

Cyborg turns and glares at me. I want to look away, but can't bring myself to. "I'm getting rid of your tofu. There's no room for my meat. I've told you over and over: this is a tofu free zone. If you want tofu, go somewhere else."

I lower my head. Each word he says tears me up piece by piece. I feel myself hit rock bottom. I never thought I'd see the day where my best friend would totally turn his back on me. I guess he doesn't care after all. Life would be better for him if I'm not in it.

Against my will, a couple of tears roll down my face. I lift my head and stare straight in his eye. "Point taken, Cy," I manage to choke out. "I'll get out of your way. I just wanted to say goodbye."

**__****Do you remember me?**

**__****Lost for so long**

**__****Will you be on the other side?**

**__****Or will you forget me?**

**__****I'm dying, praying, bleeding, and screaming**

___**Am I too lost to be saved?**_

**__****Am I too lost?**

Without noticing, my legs carry me out of the kitchen and back to my room, the door sliding shut behind me. I slump in my desk. With a shaky hand, I finish my last words to Cyborg. Then I seal the letter and place it in Cyborg's pile along with my computer games and photos of us together.

I walk back to my bed and pick up the gun by its black handle. I place the gun against my temple. The cool metal feels good against my sweating head. "Best if I end it now," I mutter to myself, closing my eyes. "No point causing the others pain. No point of sticking around when I'm going to be in the way."

**__****My God, my tourniquet**

___**Return to me salvation**_

**__****My God, my tourniquet**

___**Return to me salvation**_

A picture of Raven's beautiful face flashes in my mind. Tears are stained on her cheeks. I hurt her a lot. I don't deserve to be in her life anymore. However, I have to be fair to her. I have to at least say goodbye.

**__****I want to die!**

I drop the gun and collapse back on the bed. Taped on the bottom of the top bunk is a picture of Raven meditating. As I look at it, I feel much better. My soul will be at peace when I tell her my final goodbye.

**__****My God, my tourniquet**

**__****Return to me salvation.**

___**My God, my tourniquet**_

**__****Return to be salvation**

Starfire's high pitched voice breaks into my thoughts. "Friend Robin?"

"Yes Star?"

Robin's voice is just as annoying. I bet they're standing outside my door.

"I wish to go to the carnival tomorrow. May we go?"

"That sounds like fun. I'll ask Cyborg and Raven if they'd like to join us."

"Oh glorious!" Starfire says happily.

I hear Robin and Starfire leave the hall. My insides feel bruised. I didn't expect things to change, but I wish they would ask me to go to the carnival with them. I wouldn't even hang out with them. I'd probably be by myself so I can organize my thoughts.

Then it hits me. Once the team is gone, I can kill myself. I won't have to worry about anybody stopping me. Not that anyone would stop me, mind you. I close my eyes and start formulating a plan. All I have to do is say goodbye to Raven before I join the afterlife.

___**My wounds cry for the grave**_

**__****My soul cries for deliverance**

___**Will I be denied Christ**_

___**Tourniquet**_

___**My suicide **_


	9. Chapter 9

******Bring Me to Life**

******By: Ellivia22**

******Chapter 9**

******Raven**

___I woke up in the middle of the night feeling strange. My stomach was gnawing at me like I ate something bad. My head was pounding. I knew that my pain wasn't from illness. It was a warning. Something wasn't right._

___Beast Boy instantly flashed in my mind. I could feel despair riddled in me. This is the worst pain I've ever felt. I got out of bed and pulled on my cloak. I'd just check on him briefly then go back to sleep._

___I reached his door. His light was on and I could hear his voice. I wondered who he was talking to. I heard words such as _worthless, no good, pathetic___. I knocked on his door. _

___**Knock Knock**_

___"Beast Boy? Are you okay?"_

___He didn't answer. I couldn't take it anymore. I was going to see him tonight whether he liked it or not. "Beast Boy if you don't let me in then I'll come in on my own." I said._

___No response. Using my powers, I forced the door open, then entered the room. I felt my blood run cold because of the sight in front of me._

___Beast Boy was sitting in the middle of his blood soaked room. His face was in his bloody hands. A bloody knife was lying right next to him."Oh my God!" I shrieked in horror._

___Before I could take a ____step____, Beast Boy lifted his head and glared at me. His look rooted me to the spot. "Get away from me,Raven," he snarled._

___I stared at him in shock, my mind taking in everything about the green Titan in front of me. Beast Boy was covered from head to toe in deep cuts, scratches, and torn skin. All his wounds were bleeding profusely. His face wasn't green anymore, but paper white and covered with blood. His cheeks were tear stained, and his ____eyes puffy____ and red. His battered body was shaking._

"___Beast Boy, why?" I asked in a trembling voice._

___He got up unsteadily to his feet, the bloody knife clutched in his hand. "Azarath Metrion Zinthos," I chanted, trying to take the knife away from him, but nothing happened. I was too emotionally unstable._

"___You want to know why Raven?" He growled at me, his green eyes blazing. "It's because of you!"_

___I felt as though he stabbed me with his bloody knife."M-me? Why me?"_

___He ignored my question. Instead, he held the knife to his head like a salute. "Ode to the woman who tore me to shreds."_

___He brought down the knife across his left wrist, severing the vein. "For all the times you refused to laugh at my jokes!"_

"___Beast Boy, stop!" I cried. I tried to run, desperately wanting to take the knife away from him, but I couldn't move._

___The knife moved to his other hand. "For all the times you insulted me," he continued, slashing his other wrist._

"___I'm sorry!" I sobbed, not able to see anything but the blood flowing from his wrists._

"___And this," He said weakly, moving the knife to his throat. "Is for all the love I gave. "The love you shunned. Goodbye Raven."_

___My horrified screams echoed the room as I watched Beast Boy cut his throat. At that moment, I felt the invisible force that was holding me break. I ran as fast as I could to the man I loved. He collapsed to the floor, his breaths coming in short gasps._

"___Beast Boy, I'm sorry," I sobbed, pulling him into my arms. "I'm sorry for everything."_

___His eyes were halfway open, but they no longer held warmth. Instead his green eyes were cold and unforgiving. "You are too late, Raven," he said in a raspy voice, then closed his eyes forever._

"___BEAST BOY!"_

I gasp sharply sitting upright in my bed. I glance around my room, tremendous relief sweeping over me. It was just a nightmare-a terrible nightmare. My breathing is coming in short gasps, my heart racing. I wipe my sweaty brow with my hand. The sweat continues to pour from my face.

I immediately fall into meditation, determined to find out what Beast Boy is up to. He's still awake and thankfully the his vibes aren't as dark as usual. Maybe he's finally starting to get better.

Once I'm done checking on him, I fall out of meditation and start sobbing in my pillow. I don't care about keeping my emotions in check. All I care about is the truth behind the dream. He is absolutely right. I have been nothing but a total bitch to him. No wonder he never let me in. It's not like I've been exactly nice to him. I know one thing for sure. He doesn't love me, and if he did, he surely doesn't anymore.

I refuse to give up. I'm going to talk to him no matter what. I don't care if he doesn't love me anymore. I don't care if I have to break down his door. I'm going to apologize to him for the way I've been treating him and hope that he will forgive me. I want him to become the old Beast Boy. The one I love and adore.

******Beast Boy**

Sighing in frustration, I crumple the piece of paper in my hand and throw it flawlessly in the trash can. I just can't seem to get my thoughts together. My last words to Raven have to be perfect. I've been up all night trying to write the perfect goodbye.

I pull out a fresh piece of paper and start again. 'Dearest Raven, I just want you to know that I love you. Goodbye.'

No. That won't work either. Another crumpled paper goes in the bin. This is so frustrating. It really shouldn't matter what I write. After all, I won't be around when she reads it. I guess I just want to make sure my conscience is completely clear before I die.

I lean back in my chair, my eyes closed. Raven's beauty envelops in my mind. Keeping my eyes closed, I pull another piece of paper towards me and start to write. My hand keeps moving, but I don't notice.

Memories flash through me. Good ones of Raven and I: watching the moon together, holding her in my arms when she almost fell, when she hugged me. I sigh, remembering how I became so close to kissing her. Regret fills me. If only I could've felt the touch of her lips just once.

Then the memories in my head change. My face scrunches in pain as I remember ignoring Raven when she tried to talk to me. I remember the pain in her eyes when I yelled at her yesterday. I wish I could take it all back.

I open my eyes. My hand had stopped moving. I glance over what I wrote. ___Not bad_. Happy with my letter, I fold it up and write Raven's name on the front, and place it in her pile. In her pile is my communicator, some photos, my journal, and a single red rose in a vase.

The sun is rising. I yawn. It's time to sleep. I set my alarm for 5:30 PM. That should hopefully give me a half hour to see Raven for the last time.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: This song belongs to Evanescence. I don't own Teen Titans either.

******Bring Me to Life**

******By Ellivia22**

******Chapter 10**

******Beast Boy**

I leave my bedroom at 5:35 pm. My body is shaking, but not from pain this time, but nerves. It's time for me to say goodbye to the girl I love.

I repeat my goodbye over and over again in my head. I can't forget a single word. ___Raven, I think you are wonderful. I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry for everything and that I love you. Goodbye._ Then I'll bolt out of the room as fast as I can. I don't think I'll be able to stand seeing her reaction.

Robin's voice breaks my concentration. "Do you know where Raven is?"

"I believe she is in the living room," Starfire chirps back.

I see Robin enter the hallway. I don't want to see him, or for him to see me. I can't take any more of his abuse. Quickly I turn into a rat, using all my strength. Ever since I became suicidal, I haven't been able to morph very well. I think it's because I've lost all my motivation and concentration. I scurry into a nearby mouse hole and wait for Robin to pass me. He enters the living room. I leave the mouse hole and turn back into myself. I hide behind the wall, my courage failing. Robin is talking to Raven. I listen to their conversation.

**____****How can you see into my eyes like ****___open doors_**

___**Leading you down into my core**_

___**Where I've become so numb without a soul**_

___**My spirit sleeping somewhere cold**_

___**Until you find it there and lead it back home**_

"Raven, are you sure you don't want to go to the carnival with Star, Cy, and I?" Robin asks.

"Isn't Beast Boy going with you guys?" Raven asks. My insides twist. I can tell she is still upset because of me.

"He said he didn't want to come."

I grit my teeth angirly. "He didn't even ask me," I mutter. "He must still think I'm a monster." Raven's hurt voice rings in my head over and over again like a broken record. I decide to spare her the interruption and go do it. I don't want to burden her anymore.

I turn and slowly walk back to my room. The door slides behind me. I lock it, then walk to the middle of my bare room. My hand shaking, I grab the gun from off the floor and press it against my head. ___This is it_, I think to myself, closing my eyes. I feel surprisingly calm. ___This is ____the last time I'll draw breath. It will be the last time I cause trouble to my friends, and my love, Raven._

**__****(Wake me up)**

___**Wake me up inside**_

___**(I can't wake up)**_

___**Wake me up inside**_

___**(Save me)**_

___**Call my name and save me from the dark**_

___**(Wake me up)**_

___**Bid my blood to run**_

___**(I can't wake up)**_

___**Before I come undone**_

___**(Save me)**_

___**Save me from the nothing I've become**_

_**BANG!**_

I pull the trigger. I hit the ground, but instead of feeling pain in my head, however, I feel it in my back. I'm still breathing. ___What the hell?_ I open my eyes.

Raven is on top of me, a black shield over us. Her hood is off and I see the fright on her face. She must've tackled me when I pulled the trigger. I'm slightly happy to see her, and very angry at her for ruining my death. I was almost out. I was almost away from the pain, from this worthless body. She ruined everything.

Raven suspends the shield, but doesn't get off me. My heart is pounding hard in my chest because she's on top of me. I struggle against her strong grip. The gun is a few inches from my right hand. If only I could just reach it. "Get off me, Raven!" I snarl.

She glares at me. "Are you crazy?" I hear a window break. I can't take my eyes off her terrifed face. "Do you really think I'm going to let you go so you could kill yourself? Remember what you told me when Malchior betrayed me ___'You think you're alone Raven, but you're not_' you're not alone Beast Boy. _Please_, talk to me."

___**Now that I know what I'm without**_

___**You can't just leave me**_

___**Breathe into me and make me real**_

___**Bring me to life**_

I glare at her. She doesn't care about me, and why should she? I've hurt her too much. All she cares about is saving another life. That's her nature, after all. I can't live like this any longer. I've got to end it now. I turn into a rat and get out of her grip. I am about to reach the gun when it is suddenly moved out of my reach by black aura. I watch in horror as Raven takes the gun and empties it.

I have no idea what to do now. Raven succeeded in preventing me from killing myself. I know that if I try something else, she'll stop me again. Damnit! I was _so_ close! With nothing left to do, I turn back into myself and bury my head in my knees. Sobs start escaping from my throat. _I'm such a failure that I can't even kill myself right._

To my utmost surprise, I feel arms wrap around me tight. Shivers run up and down my spine just by Raven's touch. I thought she hated me. I wrap my arms around her skinny frame and hold on tight. "W-why won't you l-let me die?" I sob. Though she is holding me, I am far from feeling better.

She ignores my question. "Why did you just try to take your life?" she asks softly.

She rubs my back softly. I don't answer. I don't think I have the strength to talk at the moment. Instead I raise my hand and point to my desk where I have a piece of paper describing my feelings.

___**(Wake me up)**_

___**Wake me up inside**_

___**(I can't wake up)**_

___**Wake me up inside**_

___**(Save me)**_

___**Call my name and save me from the dark**_

___**(Wake me up)**_

___**Bid my blood to run**_

___**(I can't wake up)**_

___**Before I come undone**_

___**(Save me)**_

___**Save me from the nothing I've become**_

I continue to sob into her shoulder as she reads my note. She hugs me tightly. I feel my collar becoming wet. She must be crying too. After a moment, she speaks. "Beast Boy, you took the antidote, remember?"

I laugh bitterly. "Yeah tell the others that."

"What are you talking about? They care about you. ___I_ care about you."

___**Bring me to life**_

___**(I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside)**_

___**Free me tonight**_

I am somewhat relieved. Hearing her say that she cares seems more believable now than before. I guess it's because she's holding me. My mouth opens, and I start to talk. I tell her everything: how the team treats me, how guilty I feel for all the trouble I've caused. I want to apologize for being such a jerk to her, but I can't find the words. Instead, I fall silent, and continue to let out my emotions.

A painful silence passes between us. I don't know what to say now. I want to tell her I love her, but I'm afraid that she'll leave me. I need her so badly right now.

___**Frozen inside without you touch without your love, darling**_

___**Only you are the life among the dead**_

"What else?" Raven asks suddenly.

I pull away from her slightly, trying to put a look of confusion on my face. "What do you mean, 'what else'?"

She gives me a penetrating stare with her knowing violet eyes. "I know that's not the only reason you want to die. I've been trying to talk to you, but you keep shutting me out, and it really hurts. Please tell me why. Let me be here for you."

___**All this time, I can't believe I couldn't see**_

___**Kept in the dark, but you there in front of me**_

___**I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems**_

___**Got to open my eyes to everything**_

___**Without a thought, without a voice, without a soul**_

___**Don't let me die here**_

___**There must be something more**_

___**Bring me to life**_

I sigh. Now that I am starting to feel better, I am able to really understand how much I've hurt her. I decide to tell her the whole truth. I owe it to her. I lower my head in shame, my eyes closed, and comply. "The team told me they found me in Beast form, you in my teeth. I told them I'd never hurt you, ever, but they didn't believe me. They still think I'm going to hurt you and they may be right. Who knows if the Beast is going to take over again? I didn't want to take the chance for something like that to happen again. I can't live with the guilt of knowing that I hurt the girl I love above all things. I deserve to die." I finish sadly.

"Y-you love me?" Raven whispers.

I nod sadly. I might as well tell her the truth, since she's bound to start hating me again anyway. "I always have, and I know I always will."

___**(Wake me up)**_

___**Wake me up inside**_

___**(I can't wake up)**_

___**Wake me up inside**_

___**(Save me)**_

___**Call my name and save me from the dark**_

___**(Wake me up)**_

___**Bid my blood to run**_

___**(I can't wake up)**_

___**Before I come undone**_

___**(Save me)**_

___**Save me from the nothing I've become**_

Suddenly I feel her hand on my chin, forcing me to look into her beautiful indigo eyes. Her face is stained with tears. "Beast Boy," she says in a croaky voice. "Do you know how much hurt you would've caused me if I didn't walk in today." My eyes lower again. "Especially since I know how you feel."

"Why so you can kill me and-." I'm stopped in mid-sentence when Raven presses her lips against mine.

All of a sudden I feel warmth spread through me from head to toe. I've forgotten everything: the pain, the guilt, my teammates. All the matters is that Raven is holding me, her lips against mine. She tastes so sweet, like cherries. I kiss her back with all the love I've had for so long.

We break apart slowly. I feel dazed. "I love you, Gar," she whispers. I am so happy that she loves me, that I don't notice her calling me by my real name. I think I can make it through the day.

I clutch on to her tightly. "Please stay with me."

"I wouldn't leave even if you ask me to," she whispers back. I smile the first smile in what feels like forever.

We kiss gain. I feel happier than I've felt in days. True I still have the pain from what my friends think of me, but I do have Raven. As long as I have her, I know I'll be okay.

___**Bring me to life**_

___**(I've been living a lie)**_

___**(There's nothing inside)**_

___**Bring me to life**_

******The End**


End file.
